Say It Isn't So

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He should?ve never left his house. He should?ve stayed at home. He has a legitimate excuse?he?s running a fever and he?s fairly sure he?s developing pneumonia. He should have called in sick?but he doesn?t. He goes to work, because his team is relying on him. First, he has to sign about eight thousand calendars?all from women who purchased said calendars to benefit the Fallen Officer fundraiser. And when he?s done with that, he has to endure a television interview along with the rest of the SWAT team seeing as they made national news with their ?Hot SWAT? calendar that?s sold a million copies to women all over the world. Needless to say, when Samuel Adams walks into the pharmacy hours later, he only has one thing on his mind. Ibuprofen. Sadly, he never gets to the Ibuprofen. Mostly because before he gets there, he finds a junkie waving a gun around threatening to kill anybody that moves. He?s running a fever. That has to be the reason that the girl in the corner begins cursing up a storm and drawing the junkie?s attention. Has to be. *** Stop it, stop it, stop it! She tells herself to take a deep breath. Tells herself that she needs to calm down. Tells herself that if she doesn?t get her act under control, things are going to get ugly. And, of course, that?s when the curse words start flying. The more nervous she gets, the worse her Tourette?s becomes. Which is, of course, why she stands up and gives the man a perfect target. Thank God that the coughing giant in the corner makes the same move and saves her life. And how does she repay him? By calling him every awful word in the dictionary.
Authors: Irving Berlin
Publisher: Irving Berlin